Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Angry at... Stuff

Skottie Young Daily Sketch
Skottie Young: Daily Sketch
One of my favorite bloggers goes by the moniker Wheelchair Kamikaze. He is suffering from progressive multiple sclerosis. His latest post is entitled "A Stranger in Strange Lands." I like him  [Mark] because his writing is honest and thoughtful. I also find insights on his blog that often help me.

My mother and I suffer from chronic illnesses. We both suffer from multiple chronic illnesses: she with arthritis (both rheumatoid and osteo) and fibromyalgia; I with fibromyalgia since 1997, Crohn's since 2003, degenerative disk disease since 2004, and an as of yet un-diagnosed neurological ailment since 2011.

Needless to say, our lives are a bit messy.

We also have lost our formerly finely honed skills related to patience and communication. We suffer from a lot of frustration and anger-- over our physical limitations, over our lives feeling cut short because our aspirations extend farther than our bodies will allow, and over the loss of control we seemed to have over our fate.

I'm a little more chill than she, but I've had a little bit more practice with the growing limitations my body has seen fit to challenge my spirit with.

My advice to my mother today was to reserve her energy for herself instead of wasting it by getting angry at my dad. Stated a bit over-simplistically in the car, my advice was really about letting go of that constant anger that comes with our loss, from the grief of dying to our formerly healthy selves, and coming to a better acceptance of our limited selves.

It'a a daily thing this. Trying to accept and be at peace with who we are.

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